case closed....

Finally met up with Dave again. Was abit special today that he was actually going out to Heaven with us tonight. Well, he finally arrived seconds after James and the girls left and so, we headed to Heaven.

Was fun in the begining. We danced, walked around Heaven, finding the perfect room with perfect music for us all. Then finally ended up in VIP room again, sitting around, resting, having a chat.
Then we finally decided to go back to the dance floor, we walked out of the VIP room and his friend walked passed him and said hi. I left him and when we were waiting and turned around, they were kissing....


oh.. sour feeling stormed on me straight away... seeing someone that you like kissing someone else is not the best feeling at all.. ouch!!! heart got all crampped up...

honza : ok, we could just leave him there. Let's go somewhere else to dance.
me : ok. sure! ( with a bitter smile on the face )

For the first couple of minutes, wasn't feeling great nor easy. Abit jumpy, sour, and a couple of unexplainable feeling mixed up in the stomach... then finally, eased myself down and there he was again. Came around and 're-joined' the group.. oh. awkward... well, we continued to dance, what else could I do ???

in the VIP room ...
Dave: so, is there anyone in the room you like?
me : ( shaking my head ) nope. ( well,my heart was actually saying 'YOU' !!! )

minutes later...
Dave: really? is there no one in the room you like? what about the blonde guy over there?
me : ( shaking my head again ) nope. ( well, 'YOU' are the one I like in the room )

thinking back, may be I should have told him that when we were in the VIP room that I do really like him.(another checked point to be added to the list ' Why Dessy is a big looooser of all time ' ) But then again, I guessed the feeling will be a lot more worse when I saw him kissing someone else right in front of me.

I think he is just not that into me and I was being too foolish to realise and too stubborn to wake up from the dream that I had.
Based on all the teases he gave me, my dressing style, my weird english accent, how I dance, how scene queeny I am and all that...plus, how he just seems to enjoy mentioning all his saucy encounters and ex-bfs... YyyyyyyyyyUP! I am just not his type. Well.. good now then I finally 'SEE' the point !!! Merely just a friend...

stupid enough or just so DESSSY enough, I waited for the bus with him for like 15-20mins...

well, Stefan Ho, I am not going to sing ' you want a piece of me' anymore..
I am singing ' HE GOT TO GO' =P

Wasn't a great night out... School Reunion Party postponed, James and the girls not coming to Heaven, Umzy acting abit weird again, Dave kissed someone in front of me... but still feel good coming home to a cleaned room ( cleaned the room before I went out though didnt hoover =P )
and still proud of myself for being able to 'sell' 20 dinner vouchers in less than 2 hours!!! =)

>>>>Life sucks! Then you DIE!!<<<<

it is almost 6 in the morning... off tomorrow but still no plan yet. Another wasted offday I guess.
A sunday chilling out in the park with Dave was apparently not happening tomorrow. =) OppS!


>>>> Take a deeo breathe... sigh... and smile again... <<<<

Well...cased closed... time to move on...
Wonder how long would that take me to have a feeling toward someone again... =)
James & Lindsey, the 4 people dinner will have to be postponed again....!!! =)

I miss...

Francesco : so, how was the experience?

me: oh well, I do miss it alot. I miss the feeling of actually being with somebody. Sharing things,being in a relationship and having someone. Yeah, that's what I miss the most.....

on the way home from a night out with Joe, he put his arms around me and fell asleep on my shoulders/stomach. Such a nice feeling again... slowly, I felt drownsy too and I also felt asleep. Though missed the stop I had to get off, but falling asleep with someone in your arms is such a nice feeling..

I miss falling in love....
I miss being with someone....
I miss having someone on my mind all the time....
I miss having someone to go to whenever I feel happy or sad....
I miss hugging and kissing someone...

I MISS.....